This week was better in terms of getting shit done, not necessarily in health but deadlines are coming and I want in. Competitiveness is high right now.
I started the finishing process on my first maggot blob and so far it's really exciting. I’m using acrylic paints, layers of resin and wax. It's definitely a lengthy process but I think it will get me some beautiful results.
I kinda went on a goose chase with a silly idea of these eyeballs that still kinda look funky and not anywhere what I hope the final piece will look like but I’m still hopeful that they will turn into something I like enough to fill out some exhibition calls. I’m still kinda “ify” “timid” about them so I might not even bring them out for the in progress crit next week.
The centipede painting is killing me. I'm avoiding it completely. But I have decided to make that my entire studio existence until they are finished documented and submitted. I just need to get them done. I feel a weird pressure to have a strong nceca application because of last year's acceptance. I definitely shouldn’t expect to get in again but… I keep making like I will. The jurors are different and there's no doubt that the pool of submissions will be impressive as hell again but there is a little bit of confidence and ego poking through some humble thoughts making me want it more. Mostly to one up myself. I’m telling myself it's fine to have an ego against yourself in order to finish the work strong. But I definitely need to check myself once the application is submitted and realize the probability of not getting in, and being okay with that.
